


O Christmas Tree

by AnotherCrazyFangirl



Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [5]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Holiday Cards, it's supposed to be easy, nothing is easy with dethklok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherCrazyFangirl/pseuds/AnotherCrazyFangirl
Summary: Akita just wants to send a simple Christmas card to his parents. Dethklok does not agree.
Relationships: Abigail Remeltindtdrinc/Original Character(s), Charles Foster Offdensen/Original Male Character(s), William Murderface/Original Character(s)
Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055411





	O Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 16th: Taking Photos for Holiday Cards

Akita rubbed his face carefully, wary of his make up. He was ready to pull his hair out from the roots. "Boys! Please! It's only a Christmas card. That's it. Then you can go back to laying around doing nothing all day. Like usual."

Nathan glanced over at the blonde from the couch, laying flat with Pickles resting on his legs while the ginger smoked. "Why? Sounds fucking stupid. Like something regular jackoffs do." Pickles giggled as he slouched further into Nathan's legs. "Yeah. And we don't wanna do it either." 

Akita rolled his eyes. "It's an old family tradition that we take pictures with our loved ones. Now, get off the fucking couch and pretend you give a shit." He pulled uselessly at Nathan's arm. 

"Why do we even have to do it? We aren't even family." Murderface shouted from his spot in the jacuzzi. He sunk lower into the bubbles when Akita glared at him, opting to suck the last drop from his beer bottle. 

Toki and Skwisgaar didn't bother to respond. They were too involved in their impromptu competition on the arcade cabinets. 

Akita sighed as he looked at all of them. This was going to require drastic measures. 

\------------

All of Dethklok were pressed up against the soundproof padding on the wall, trying to look anywhere but at the woman in front of them. Nathan was hiding his face in his hair and Pickles was trying to wedge himself behind the taller man. Toki was hiding his face in his hands. Skwisgaar was staring at the ceiling while Murderface was glaring at the ground. 

Deep blue eyes stared up at them, sucking them into their sad depths. 

"Akita, get her to stop!" Nathan begged as Pickles pulled on his shirt in order to cover his eyes. 

The blonde was leaning against the doorframe, a small smirk on his face. His cousin was the master of sad puppy dog eyes and he would whittle them down with her sad stare. "Well, do you want to take a holiday picture for a card with me?" 

Murderface lifted his glare to Akita. "We already schaid no!" He made the mistake of looking Dana in the eye and winced. The sad wide eyes had evolved into a pout, making the band feel like massive shit whenever they made eye contact. 

Akita looked down at his nails, running his thumb along the edge of the candy cane stripes. "All it's going to take for Dana to stop is your agreement. Unless...you want to make her cry."

Dana's eyes were starting to water right on cue. Her bottom lip quivered and the band tried to shut out the sorry sight.

"Alright, ALRIGHT! Fine! We'll do the fucking card, just...just get her to stop!" Nathan growled. 

Almost immediately, Dana's eyes dried and a big smile replaced her pout. Akita grinned. "Well, you five better get dressed into something nice. I want you in front of the tree in ten minutes." 

"TEN?! Dat amnest enough times to dos my hairs!" Skwisgaar griped as Dana rushed off to go get the others. 

"Okay. Five minutes or else." Akita said as he turned on his heel to go get Charles. 

A loud wave of curses followed his footsteps. 

\----------------

Each member of Dethklok stood in front of the tree, pulling at their tight sweaters Dana had seemingly pulled out of thin air. All five were black with red and white cross stitching. Each sweater had been customized with the first letter of their name on the center of their chests in either green or red. 

Murderface made a face as he tried to pry the W from his paunch. "Thisch isch goddamn ridiculousch!" He hissed venomously. Big hands pushed his hands gently and he glared up at his partner. "Noni, come on! Thisch isch schtupid!" 

Noni chuckled and helped him adjust the sweater. "But you look so handsome." They told him softly and his knees buckled. "...I know I look good. But we could be doing schomething...elsche." He wiggled his brows suggestively and they pulled a face. "Stop." 

Dana giggled soundlessly at the exchange and pressed closer to Noni when Akita motioned for everyone to crowd closer together. She ran out of her spot when she saw Abigail and Charles, her smile lighting up her face. 

Abigail grunted, trying to keep from bowling over. Dana had flung her whole 5'10" form around the shorter woman and she was struggling to stay standing. "H-Hi, hon." Dana kissed her cheek in greeting, standing straight as she pulled Abigail up into her arms. 

Abigail sighed, her feet dangling four inches from the ground. "Missed you too." She chuckled warmheartedly, patting her back. Dana let her down and she adjusted her white sweater. Dana pecked her cheek again and held her hand out shyly. Abigail smiled and slipped her hand into hers and let Dana lead her back towards her spot. 

Akita watched the whole spectacle with a fond smile on his face. He ruffled Dana's curls when she passed and walked up to Charles. He carefully adjusted his Christmas tree tie and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leading him to the other end of the band. 

He motioned for the Klokateer to get ready to take the picture, his arms draped around Charles' shoulders and his chin on his gelled hair. "Is this position necessary?" Charles asked, tilting his head to look up at him. 

"Yep." Akita pressed a finger to Charles' mouth to nullify any argument. "Look happy and say cheese." 

"Please take a look, my liege." The Klokateer handed Akita the camera and he tilted it down to let Charles peek at it. The band was in the very center with a scowling Nathan in the middle and Pickles in front of him, using the taller man for support. Toki and Skwisgaar were to his left. Toki was smiling brightly while Skwisgaar looked extremely fed up with the whole ordeal. 

Akita rolled his eyes. It would have to work. Dana's puppy dog eyes couldn't work miracles more than once. 

Noni and Murderface on Nathan's right. Noni's taller tan figure dwarfed everyone in the picture and they tried to slouch to appear shorter. Murderface had an arm around their waist with a massive shit eating grin that made Akita snort and Charles almost smile. 

Dana had her arm around Abigail's shoulder, pulling her in closer as she grinned to the camera. Abigail had a fond (if not exasperated) smile on her face as she held onto Dana's waist. 

Akita and Charles capped the other end of the group. The business man looked exhausted with a smirking Akita on top of him. The blonde laughed while Charles grumbled about their position before kissing his cheek. 

"It's perfect."


End file.
